Thank you, Sleeping at Last

As many of you know (or don’t!) music has played, and keeps playing, an important role in my life. Music in its various forms has given me peace in an otherwise cacophonous and destructive world.

There comes a point, at least with me, where particular artists will mean more to me given my emotional state. Either they will help me along or maybe distract me from the warfare inside my mind. There is a rather chatty monkey that lives in my head most days. Anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, and fear all play a daily role but in an extreme fashion. Thankfully years of therapy and books on the matter have helped me develop tools to thwart any of these negative tendencies from getting out of control. Unfortunately, life is a great tester of will and patience and every so often, I find myself in a grave with dirt falling in on all sides.

About 4 months ago I was an emotional wreck. There is no need to get into it because it deals with the lives of others and their privacy is a concern of mine. I was lost, confused and questioning the very idea of who I was and what I valued.

As I do when in a position such as this, I began to drink far more than I should. I stopped eating. I lost about 10 pounds which might sound good to most or not really a big deal to others, but my average weight is about 118 so no, it was not good for me.